Vedic scriptures tell us there are three things most tied to fate: The family you’re born into, your death, and the person(s) you marry (or don’t marry).
The first two aren’t surprising, because we can’t really change those things, certainly not the family we’re born into. We could argue about death, but for now, I want to talk about the marriage partner.
It makes sense that your marriage partner is strongly tied to fate, because more than anything else in your life, that person strongly influences the path you’re on and the quality of your life. They affect where you live, your health, where you travel, and many new people you associate with (friends and in-laws). In marriage, you get roped into your partners karma, and all the highs, lows and transitions. This is one reason why the Navamsa, your life path, is also the Varga of marriage.
So, it’s very important to choose a good partner, but is it really up to us? Yes, but also no.
Why Your Marriage Partner is Tied to Fate
Everything you experience in life is going to build you up to making that fated choice. Every complex, every need, the relationship with your parents, every prior relationship that gave you a new perspective on what you think you do and don’t need, they’re all moving you closer to the state of consciousness you will be in when you choose that person.
And guess what? You can’t change or control that other person. They are someone intertwined in your life but at the same time – your wild card. The positive and negative they bring is something beyond your control, and you don’t know if they will continue to grow with you or away from you. Any new souls that come into the world through your union need that very specific environment for their own lessons, so your fated relationships are also serving that purpose.
I have a ton of opinions on relationship dynamics, but at the end of the day, you’ll end up with the person you need for your soul growth – the easy and enjoyable and the hard and miserable parts. Whether your marriage is beautiful and harmonious, a complete dumpster fire, or somewhere in-between, it was simply your turn to experience that.
Can something so fated be changed?
If your birth chart indicates some negative relationship karma, then it’s something you’ll have to experience. The best mindset is to try to realize the privilege it is to burn karma here and also sow new good karma. That said, poor relationships don’t have to be a life-long fate. It all depends on one’s ability to become aware of what led to poor relationships in the beginning, and then make necessary changes.
So, if you’re worried about making the wrong decision, you can relax a bit knowing that this is one area of life that will unfold as it is meant to. And if you’re happily married you can enjoy the romantic sentiment that the person you’re with is indeed, meant for you.
Peace,
The importance of assuming karmic responsibility for our lives is one of the most profound Vedic concepts. Understanding that some things are tied to fate and other allow more free will feels more empowering, rather than restrictive.
My feelings are the same. I think it would be quite the burden trying to control everything and missing the opportunities to practice graceful surrender. So nice to have your name and a piece of your consciousness here, Karol!