When it comes to finding the right partner, there is a huge emphasis on compatibility and the misconception that good compatibility is all we need. I want to bring your attention to another important component of a flourishing relationship, which the capacity we enter our relationships with.
There’s no doubt that compatibility is important. Having the same values, sense of humor, hobbies and speaking the same love language makes a partnership smoother. This is called being on the same wavelength: having a natural understanding of how the other person thinks and feels. In Astrology, we determine this compatibility using the moon and nakshatras. This method of compatibility encompasses everything from sex, potential obstacles, the flow of masculine and feminine energy, and more.
However, there is something more important than compatibility. It is your personal capacity for a healthy relationship, as well as your partners capacity. Capacity is your ability to have a healthy relationship in the first place. You can have the best compatibility in the world, but if you’re bringing insecurity, fear, anger, defensiveness, disrespect, then it’s only a matter of time before the relationship crumbles under that weight. In simpler terms, good compatibility cannot withstand the strain of poor capacity. Two people with good capacity, (emotionally open, secure within themselves, and communicate with love and respect) have betters odds at sustaining their relationship even if the compatibility is lower than average.
Astrology shows both compatibility and capacity
Though there are general traits that apply to both sexes, men and women have their capacities hurt in different ways. Mars can make a man too pushy, or Saturn can hurt a man’s self-esteem in such a way that he is unable to handle hearing “no” without reacting poorly/taking it personally. Part of a woman’s capacity has to do with being in touch with her true needs and whether she has the courage to express those needs. Another is whether she has the confidence to say “no” to things that don’t feel good to her. An afflicted Moon makes one’s mind not centered in their heart, which tends to be particularly troublesome for those of feminine orientation.
The good news is, with self-awareness and commitment to growth, relationships capacity can improve. Usually it improves naturally after every failed relationship as a person learns and grows. But, you don’t have to wait for heartache and breakups – you can increase your capacity as long as your aware of what needs improvement. Astrology helps us understand what specifically is hurting our capacity. It could be lack of trust, argumentativeness, lack of respect, etc.
The Mastery of Love is one of my favorite books on approaching relationships from a higher consciousness and helps a person reach a very high capacity for a healthy relationship. If you are ever curious about your compatibility with a partner, you can contact me with you and your partners info. I can also send you a report on your capacity (or the capacity of someone else) for $15.
As the saying goes, healthy attracts healthy. Happy and emotionally healthy people are drawn to each-other, improve your capacity and as a result you’ll be drawn to (and attract) better potential partners.