If you have Kuja Dosha, you may have been told you’ll never have a happy marriage. I’m here to tell you that isn’t true! Kuja Dosha is merely an issue of temperament that disrupts the harmony in the home or relationships. It will only stain your relationship if you allow it. Here I’ll explain what Kuja Dosha is Astrologically and the atmosphere it often creates in relationships.
Common traits of the individual with Kuja Dosha:
- Growing up with conflict in the home, giving you a high tolerance for conflict .
- A need to control your environment and other people in order to soothe anxiety. Many people with controlling tendencies feel highly anxious.
- A generally dominating personality in the relationship
- Overly defensiveness and argumentativeness, ego easily bruised
- Critical parents. Parents who made you aware of your shortcomings and the ways you needed to “improve”
Many people with Kuja Dosha had to fight to make things work in their life. They bring this approach into their relationships, which results in more arguing than the typical couple. This bickering slowly deteriorates a relationship. It’s important that the person with Kuja Dosha find a partner who also has Kuja Dosha. This at least creates a balance and it’s more likely two “Mangliks” together will be less shocked at the other’s temperament. If one person has Kuja dosha and the other doesn’t, the one who does not will end up being bullied, hurt, disrespected, etc.
What Creates Kuja Dosha
Quite a few things. As you can see, a lot of people will have some of these Manglik traits:
Mars in the 2nd, 12th, 4th, 7th or 8th house.
These houses are considered not only from the Lagna, but also the Moon and Venus. You can also consider this in the Navamsa and Trisamsa charts. Adding up how many times Mars is in these places will give you an idea just how “manglik” a person is.
As you can see, the odds are that many people will have Kuja Dosha. My experience is that the most problems occur when an individual has multiple and when Mars is combust, debilitated, conjunct Rahu, or in poor dignity.
Exceptions that mitigate the effects of Kuja Dosha:
Mars in Leo or Aquarius.
Mars in the 2nd in Gemini or Virgo
Mars in the 12th in Taurus or Libra
Mars in the 4th in Aries or Scorpio
Mars in the 8th in Sagittarius or Pisces
Mars conjunct the Moon or Jupiter is also thought to nulify the effects. My personal experience is that these exceptions don’t totally get rid of the effects, but make it a bit better.
Remedies for Kuja Dosha
Below I share the BEST remedies for kuja dosha. Better than wearing 5 carats of coral on your finger, better than offering red silk, or fasting on Tuesdays. These “remedies” will have an immediate effect and are entirely within your power. What you’ll find is most of these remedies involve patience and acceptance – not easy for those with Mars afflictions!
Learn to Mind Your Own Business
Much of the pushy behavior that comes up in relationships is simply because one (or both) people aren’t minding their own business. For a partnership to thrive, people need freedom. Freedom to choose how they spend their time, to pursue their hobbies and interest, freedom to have shortcomings and flaws without being chastised for it. The problem with Kuja Dosha is it makes a person prone to forcing their will on other people. If you have a real issue with your partner, then take time to a calm and adult conversation about it. Otherwise, focus on yourself.
The fastest way to get a partner to shut down and become resentful is by being critical. Slowly but surely, criticism kills all positive feelings and before you know it, you’ve lost your connection.
This isn’t to say you’ll never have a valid complaint, but it’s important to keep perspective. If your partner is not following through with their word, disregarding your feelings, abandoning their responsibilities, being a total deadweight, then there are issues that need to be addressed. Even if you have major, credible complaints, nitpicking will not inspire the change you want.
Pick.Your.Battles. Save any judgments and criticism for things that actually matter and not frivolous things like how the dishwasher is loaded or how the laundry gets folded. When you were in the beginning stages of love, none of that mattered to you anyway. That’s why being together was so enjoyable – because you both kept your complaints to yourself.
Learn to Disengage
Part of the nature of the Kuja Dosha person is that they don’t back down from arguments. They have a point to prove and they’re perfectly comfortable fighting about something until you realize they’re right. Great for the debate club, but not so great in relationships.
Happy couples know how and when to disengage. They can think “Obviously my partner feels very strongly about this, I disagree but it’s not worth the fight.” and move on. Those with Kuja Dosha need to learn that when things begin to get heated, instead of pressing the issue it’s best to take a step back.
Prioritize Harmony and Appreciation
Those who have severe Kuja dosha often don’t even realize how much discord exists in their home life. Daily squabbling doesn’t have to become your normal. You can have a more peaceful and cooperative relationship by focusing on appreciation, picking your battles, and letting a lot of things go.
If you have Kuja Dosha, chances are you’re a passionate, driven, intelligent person with a lot of good traits. Just don’t bring your warrior side into your home life – it causes problems. Be gentle, be kind, lead with love.